It gets better... This my story...

In the USA there are young people that have killed themselves because they are being bullied for being gay, in a short time about ten young Americans have ended their lives in tragic ways. I think that's terrible and it makes me sad that they feel like taking their lives is the only option because they can't stand being called queer, faggot, fag and other names, being beaten up or humiliated because of it. No one should be called those names or being assaulted for being who they are.
I know that there are kids in Sweden being bullied because they are different or gay and it feels like no one is talking about it, it's like it disappears in to the background. We have to talk about in the public forums like the media and in schools, to make it visual and not forget that there are young people going through hell each day. I know I been there.

I can relate to what young gay people go trough because I was bullied in school not for being gay, just for being different than the rest of the boys in my class. The bullying happened almost every day for years, maybe 3-4 years, I actually don't remember how long it was going on but it felt like an eternity back then. Eventually I came out but that's a different story. Sure I was called faggot, queer and so on, those words always hurt the most even if the bullies didn't know that then. I got used to hide myself, to protect me from others that could hurt me. All I wanted to feel was that I was safe. I can't say that I felt that at all, not during school or when I played sports with my team-mates. But at home I felt safe and that's thanks to my family. I didn't have a lot of friends at that time since I shunt myself of from others. I don't think that anyone saw really how bad I was feeling, I didn't have any self-esteem or trust in myself or in others, always hesitating and just felt like I was breaking into pieces all the time.

That time in my life is something that I buried to be able too move on. I still hate those people that called me names just because it was fun or fulfilled some sick twisted purpose. I still hate the way they made me feel during the darkest years of my life. I hate that I didn't stood up and said something but I couldn't because that would have destroyed me. Eventually I started to see the school's counsellor but I thought "why send me?" I haven't done anything! Send the idiots that are doing this to me! that went through my head every session but I never told any one about it until now. Of course it were to some help but I still felt awful and couldn't grasp on Why they were doing this to me?
God, how I hated being single out like that, like it was something wrong with me but it wasn't. There is nothing wrong about being different or being gay, it adds something to your personality and makes you a totally brilliant person. Just be you, all the time and fight for your rights in any way you can. But remember violence is not the solution.
My only regret were that I didn't spoke up and fought for myself more than I did, today I have accepted what happened even tough I still can't understand why, however it is no longer important since I made it through it all.

But It gets better trust me it does, it sounds like a cliché but it is true. I am alive to tell this today because I could see through the pain and I came out as a much stronger person. I took my time, about ten years, before I came out too my closets friends and my family but I don't regret it at all. I know that they love me for who I am and that they respect and care for me, that is worth everything to me. Believe me IT GETS BETTER...

This is a part of my past and it will always be a part of me. And remember IT GETS BETTER if you just stick around and let the world know you...