thing, heading, direction...

I'm convinced that things happens for a reason. What if everything that has happen the last couple of years needed to be endured to make me stronger. Not sure, I feel a bit insecure for some reason at the moment. Insecure about my future, it's not as clear as I thought. I'm seriously thinking of not finishing school and the biggest reason are that I don't want to lay down so much work every week that a teaching job requires. The other thing is I'm not sure I really want to be a teacher, I think it was someone else's idea more than mine, I think I bought the idea and made it my own. I don't regret going to school because I have meet a lot of people that I like and respect, the experience has giving me a perspective in things.

I have become more sure of myself and my abilities and be able to use my flaws and turn them in to something positive. The other thing is that I should have gone my own way and not listening to others that made my head to make stupid mistakes. I own my decisions and don't regret them but I wish I shouldn't have doubted myself as I did which led me to the wrong decisions. I have learned a lot and that is what I'm taking with me as an important experience. I think I have made a decision that will benefit me and it will make me the best I could be. I'm okay with me failing because I learn from it and it makes me stronger. But I need to point out I don't feel like a failure but I can feel a bit disappointing in myself due to having expectations that I can't achieve. Having goals is important to have and to reach for, I need to change my goals, cast away the old ones and figure out new goals to achieve. But it could mean that old things could be a new thing but in different shape. New things, new headings, new directions that is how life goes, well at least my life for now...