life and death experience

A few weeks back I almost got killed by a truck / lorry. At first I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I'm still alive, it's just amazing. I guess that I have a guardian angel or something / someone looking out for me. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can see the truck heading straight for me and it still is such a surreal feeling. I know it happened but I don't understand it not even after a few weeks, it's like it happened to someone else and not me.

What happen was a truck was trying to overtake another vehicle in a colon of cars, maybe to get a better position or something. So I just drove along and saw a Volvo XC90 doing a pass with small marginals so I signalled with my lights and slammed the horn, hey you are in my lane and I have no place to go, so the Volvo squeezes back in to the his/her lane and right after a truck is right in my path getting very very very close. I think my heart just stopped for a second or ten, me realizing that this could be the very last thing I do so I did an evasive manoeuvre turning the car a bit to the right towards the safety barrier, with a lot of luck I escaped getting hit by the truck since it also makes an evasive manoeuvre back to his lane and in some way I did not hit the safety barrier either which is a good thing for me. At the next bus stop about maybe 200 meters away I stopped the car, got outside and almost throw up of fear of what just happen.

I've gone through the situation in my head and every time I realize how lucky I've been and that something unbelievable happened, for me it feels like someone or something just gave me a second chance of life. The truck could have easily hit my car or I could have turned the steering wheel to sharp and hit the safety barriers, in both scenarios I could've been seriously injured or worse dead but I'm not. I'm glad that I didn't get to be a number in the statistics.

Well right now, where this thing happen, there is a two-lane road with one southbound and one northbound lane with oncoming traffic. So whenever someone is in a hurry you have to make idiotic passes that aren't that safe and what do you gain by doing this well a minute or so. The ironic thing is that the truck had nothing to gain by overtaking that vehicle at all because just one km further south the new Express-way with separate lanes starts. So am I lucky to be alive?? HELL YEAH!!! is my answer to that question.

I'm amazed by all the support I've been given by my friends after this horrifying experience, with people telling me that I matter to them just feels amazing and it makes my very happy to hear that. I want to give you all a big thank you for your support, I think you all are amazing, brilliant and special people, who I'm glad to have in my life:).

I'll have to give Johanna one of my best friend a big big BIG thank you for talking so much trash and about things that don't matter at all just to keep me from a total breakdown, you totally manipulated me although I realized what you were doing but I needed it so bad, so from the bottom of my alive and kicking heart, thank you and I love you for being a true friend.

So where do you go from now? Surviving something like that without a mark, scratch or injury, at least physically ones? I have no bloody idea nor an answer, I'll guess I have to figure it out because life moves on with or without you. Well this experience has shaken me a lot because I never been close to being involve in a accident. One thing I have realized is that I am not immortal or indestructible, I am very much alive and more fragile than I thought. I feel that my purpose in life is to give it meaning in some way and I have to figure that out. Well I'm grateful to be able to walk among the living and to be able to embrace life and the future because it's a future I'm able to experience. My life, my future, alive and kicking...